Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
