Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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