Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
