I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
even my farts smell like vagina
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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