Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Small penises have feelings too.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
