It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize