Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
