the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
