so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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