Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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