This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
