I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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