I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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