TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My bed smells like the plague
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
