I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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