if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
