the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
