big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
