is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
