You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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