bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
