I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
