Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
