4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
