normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
