Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She bit a glass in half.
We left an ass print on the piano.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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