yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We need to rekindle our bromance
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
