i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
