i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
