I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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