We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
