Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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