the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
