I look better un-naked...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
