the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize