lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
