Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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