were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
