his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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