Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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