I want to walk on stilts...naked
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
