Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
