Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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