I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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