i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
