It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
