one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize