____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
wanna go halves on a baby?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
