Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
