Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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