We won't sleep together?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
