Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
