Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
