You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
