are you so shy because you have an std?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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