I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
