We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
