got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
