this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
