I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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